January Letter ✉︎ ִֶָ. 𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ⊹ ࣪ ˖
A new format to the monthly favourites posts
I don’t think this monthly favourites is a good idea for me to do. Usually, I don’t consume enough media to have a fully developed opinion. I am a slow reader, watcher and gamer. I need my time, and when I finish something, I’ll need days to fully process how I feel about it. So, with that said, I don’t want these posts to be a list anymore. I feel like I was forcefully trying to think about something to put on a list, and that didn’t feel right. I want to write to you, sharing what happened during the month and how I felt, obviously including media I engaged with. Just like a journal entry I guess. Or a special letter written to you.
January was the out of comfort zone month. I applied to jobs and scheduled an interview, captured videos during a very important celebration, using gear I’ve never used and feeling a lot of pressure, and closed a chapter in my life. All of this while my brain was trying to convince me to give up on everything, driven by the fear of failure, rejection or judgement. I didn’t bend to those thoughts, and I’m very proud of myself!
I usually hate January, it feels endless and depressing. This one was a bit depressing, but it has gone by very fast fortunately, I’ll admit. Maybe it was because I was actually kinda busy. This month I created
꩜ A sewing project
I think it’s safe to say that it was a productive and successful month, despite it all.
I’ve also been playing Alice Madness returns. I finally ended the game. I felt so sad and sensitive, I literally cried my eyes out of my skull (dramatic, I know). I couldn’t leave it at that and two days later I started a New game +, when you play the game again, from the beginning but with all the weapons and buffs you acquired during the last gameplay. I couldn’t say goodbye yet, and so I decided I would complete the game to 100% and take notes along the way. You should expect a review… I’m still playing though, and I’m having such a blast. Every day I get excited just thinking about sitting at my desk at the evening and playing this absolute gem.
As for reading, I’ve been reading Frankenstein. I’m loving it and I’m very happy I’m reading a classic so effortlessly. Usually, classics are tricky for me because English is not my first language and if I read it in my native language, Portuguese, it seems even more complicated because Portuguese is very complex. So I had to chose a battle here. I chose English and it’s going very well. I’m engaged with the story, I’m not lost and the writing is absolutely beautiful.
I went to the cinema and watched Lord of the Rings! I’ve watched all the movies before, but I confess I didn’t think about them much. This time, I think it clicked. Because I was in a cinema room, perhaps. It makes a huge difference in my opinion, I feel more engaged with the movie. I’m excited to be with my friends and watch the rest of the franchise! Speaking of Lord of the Rings, I bought a gorgeous edition of the hobbit, I can’t wait to read it.
I came back to social media, kinda. Some months ago, I deleted TikTok and disabled my Instagram account. It was giving me a lot of anxiety. Besides, I wasn’t even seeing content from people I followed because my Instagram feed was flooded with suggested posts, ads and reels. I definitely have no time for that bullshit, so I said goodbye and I’ve never been better. I don’t doom scroll anymore, I don’t lurk on people that are not in my life anymore and I don’t have monitoring spirits watching me. Back off, I say! If you don’t bring anything of value to my life, then you are not part of it and you don’t get to stalk me without even engaging with me.
But how did you came back to social media if you deleted it?, you might ask. Well, I shall answer you. Old social media. Forgotten social media that is now shoved to the dusty room no one opens anymore, only some. Tumblr, for example, VSCO… and Substack ffs! This is a social media and I made my comeback right here, in august. Before that I was living off socials, which is pretty freeing. My life is super quiet now, I’m still anxious but not as much as I was. Also, a very important detail about this topic, I use social media on my computer and not on my phone! On my pc I have AdBlock, so I can catch up freely without being bombarded with useless shit that I didn’t ask to see. So now I only use long form socials and slow paced ones, this being my list
꩜ Tumblr
𖦹 Substack
꩜ YouTube
꩜ VSCO
And I don’t use them constantly obviously. I’m not always posting on VSCO, I don’t open Tumblr every week… they’re just platforms I still have.
As for music, I’m finally free of an obsession phase, so I can listen to whatever I want! I picked up some albums that I already knew I loved and a new album as well. The new album I listened to this month was A Line that Connects by Lycia. I’ve also been listening to Shadowlorn by Mountain Realm, Treasure by Cocteau Twins, Within the depths of a darkened forest by Autumn’s grey Solace and finally, Dopethrone by Electric Wizard, among others. From all of these, my favourite is Within the depths of a darkened forest by Autumn’s grey Solace.
I feel like I’m actually within the depths of a darkened forest and I’m at peace. Erin’s voice is beautiful and ethereal, it hypnotises me into a state of deep tranquillity. I think this whole album, rhythm, lyrics, vocals and theme is a very close representation of what I truly am on the inside. However, for my favourite song I will choose a one from another album and it is Funeralopolis from Dopethrone. I cannot describe to you how good of a banger this is, you have to listen for yourself.
Overall and despite the fact I hate January, it was a good month. I reached some milestones that scare me to death and I did tons of creative work, I got these two books, one of which I’ve been wanting for the longest time
I got a new journal as well, in which I’m writing everyday and some hair accessories I’ve been wanting for some time. Nothing better than a good dose of dopamine after spending some money and being a little piggy sucking from a capitalistic tit am I right? I’m gonna end the post on this positive note, then.
Cheers
mai
I loved this new format!! <3
You sound like the sweetest person <3